“I am over the passivity of good men. Where the hell are you? You live with us, make love with us, father us, befriend us, brother us, get nurtured and mothered and eternally supported by us, so why aren’t you standing with us? Why aren’t you driven to the point of madness by the rape and humiliation of us?”—Eve Ensler: Over It (via dreamtater)
My mom and dad are helping me out with the close to $700 it will cost me to apply to graduate schools (my last figure didn’t take into account transcript and GRE score fees). I told my mom over the phone, “my first book will be dedicated to you guys.” She laughed, but I wasn’t kidding. I really do…
“Our next generation. I love them all, just on principle, and feel fiercely, almost irrationally protective of them. I want everything to be so much different for them than it was for us. I want them to be able to be unapologetically out and safe in their schools, and I want them to feel nothing but memories of joy and triumph should they ever return to a high school for any reason twenty years from now. I know, what a dreamer, right? But why not? Why not imagine building a safe, respectful environment for all kids to be educated in right now? Why expect anything less, and why settle? Because we had to? That is simply not good enough. The fact that so many of us, fat or queer or nerdy or smart or slow or brown or from somewhere that is not here, still can’t imagine school without the accompanying torment or hassle or trauma is a sign to me of just how much we still need to do in our schools for all kids, not just the queer ones.”—“As Good as We Can Make It” by Ivan E. Coyote. (via fuckyeahlesbianliterature)
My name is Marie, I am a 19 year old college student, and I am a feminist. I have been a feminist since 16, and I don’t see myself changing any time soon. I try to work with older feminists as much as I can, but it’s getting harder. You see, you and I need to talk.
To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.
I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.
And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?
So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.
Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-
6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.
6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.
A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?
They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.
Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.
If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.
But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.
And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?
That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.
You. The rapist’s comrade.
And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…
Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.
Yes, I do! Name’s Julie. I am also a lover of cats, but as of right now have only my dog at my apartment with me. Currently he is laying on a pile of dirty clothes and giving me a look that says ‘please let’s go outside’ so I have to go do that. But it is nice to have friends! Yay!
“Males as a group have and do benefit the most from patriarchy, from the assumption that they are superior to females and should rule over us. But those benefits have come with a price. In return for all the goodies men receive from patriarchy, they are required to dominate women, to exploit and oppress us, using violence if they must to keep patriarchy intact. Most men find it difficult to be patriarchs. Most men are disturbed by hatred and fear of women, by male violence against women, even the men who perpetuate this violence. But they fear letting go of the benefits. They are not certain what will happen to the world they know most intimately if patriarchy changes. So they find it easier to passively support male domination even when they know in their minds and hearts that it is wrong.”—